- You own at least five pairs of flip flops
- You know someone who's been struck by lightning
- You say "palmetto bug" instead of cockroach
- Gators on the roadside don't scare you
- Your backyard is sometimes a swamp
- You're officially sick of Disney
- You shrug off hurricane warnings
- You've been permanently blinded by fat men in speedos
- There are only two seasons - hot and hotter
- You've drank a flaming alligator.
- Most likely, you're over 50
- You have more family and friends visit you, now that you moved 1,000 miles away
- The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
- Hot water now comes out of both taps.
- You have your own hurricane stories
- You learn that a seat buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
- The temperature drops below 90 and you feel a little chilly
- You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
- You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window
- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 am
- You realize that asphalt has a liquid state
- Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
- Your quarter-length sleeved garments are saved for the winter months
- Everyone comes from somewhere else
- Golf courses are every 100 yards
- You know what a snowbird is
- You need a spatula to remove your clothing
- When the beer gut and big butt don't keep you from wearing shorts
- You wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather
- You ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible
- Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people
- Your glasses fog up when you enter a building
- Your shorts look like plastic wrap on your legs
- The lights are kept off to keep the heat level down
- Airplanes can't land because the asphalt is too soft
- You've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man
- Road construction never ends
- There is only "one" evacuation route
- You've been through at least 4 major hurricanes
- You live within a mile of a body of water
- You work on your tan in the winter
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